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House of the Dragon (S1:E7): "Driftmark"

Updated: Nov 4, 2022

This needs to be addressed:

Did the show spend so much money on CGI dragons that it had to compensate with its lighting budget? Serious question. For about 40% of the episode I legit couldn't see shit in front of me. I've been in haunted houses that had better lighting. I think there was a beach. Some incestual banging. Perhaps even some dragon riding. I couldn't tell you. As if the constant time warping and actor changes weren't enough to overcome.

Moving on!

Laena is deceased via suicide by dragon and the family gets together to mourn at her funeral but that doesn't stop the horniness Rhaenyra and Daemon who go on the beach to "talk" and end up doing the penetration after Rhaenyra confesses her life has been shit since he left her in that brothel when she was 12.

Totally normal conversation.

Meanwhile, Prince Aemond, doing his best Joffrey impersonation, steals Vhagar (dragon) now that its owner is dead and takes it for a joy ride like your Grandma's car while she slept when you were 15 years old. After landing the dragon he proceeds to call Rhaenyra's sons bastards then gets his face slashed and loses an eye. Truth be told, was hoping he'd get prison shanked in this scene. This kid is a little shit.

And if you thought the family was bickering before!

Alicent, furious that her son has lost an eye and showing her true crazy demands Ser Criston (still a bitch) to retaliate by taking the eye of one of Rhaenyra's kids and when the king tells her to calm down she grabs a knife and attempts to do it herself and ends up cutting Rhaenyra instead.

I think it's safe to say that the family dynamic here is beyond saving. Better Help is no longer an option.

Daemon and Rhaenyra know that the jig is up and action must be taken so Daemon hatches a plan to kill her husband by bribing his lover Qarl to kill him by promising to make him rich ALTHOUGH he didn't specifically mention his name just "a murder with a lot of witnesses." A detail I think is really important here.

We get an aerial shot of Daemon snapping a security guard's neck and Qarl whips out his sword to kill Laenor and the next thing we know we see his parents in the same room weeping over his burnt body in the fireplace but no Laenor death scene?! Hmmmm...

...the next day, horned up from the murders no doubt, Daemon and Rhaenyra make it official and get married Valyrian-style, something that her Dad and his brother I'm sure will be totally stoked on. And the episode ends with Qarl and LAENOR?! escaping in a pontoon boat at night??! Did Daemon spare Laenor at the request of Rhaenyra or did Qarl refuse to actually go through the orders so they could escape together?

Find out on next week's Maury!

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