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House of the Dragon (S1: E10): "The Black Queen"

Phew. What a finale! I can't wait until...

...**looks at invisible watch on wrist**...2024?! Someone needs to sit down with these HBO execs to discuss their rapidly deteriorating, fucked up show timelines.

But, I digress. That is a future problem for us to be concerned with; as of now, we are focused on the present. And the present demands that we discuss last night's season finale.

Rhaenys arrives at Dragonstone and immediately breaks the news to Rhaenyra and Daemon that not only is King Viserys dead but Alicent has usurped the throne with her albino rapist son, Aegon.

Fun times!

Rhaenyra, pregnant, goes into labor as a result of the stress in what we see is yet ANOTHER gruesome stillbirth scene in season 1. Quick question: does this show have a quota for hardcore pregnancy scenes a la police officers issuing speeding tickets at the end of the month? Is there some birth control agenda being pushed? "We now return to 'House of the Dragon', brought to you by Pfizer!" It seems a bit overdone.

Whilst giving birth and immediately following, Rhaenyra commands that no one act upon anything violently at the news brought forward until she can formulate a plan but Daemon goes into goblin mode and prepares for war.

Lord Hightower has the stones to show up on the bridge entrance to Dragonstone and demand they bend the knee to Aegon. The same bridge that years ago Daemon was confronted by Rhaenyra after he peaced out with a dragon egg, nonetheless. A truce is presented and Rhaenyra gives word that she will have a response on the morrow (going to start using this, btw) much to Daemon's dismay who pulls out his sword and mentions cutting off his shriveled cock and stuffing it into his mouth. He really has a way with words, this guy!

Lord Corlys (yes, he's still alive) shows up and not only commits his house to Rhaenyra but his fleet as well with the encouragement of Rhaenys, naturally. Things are looking up for Team Rhaenyra!

Daemon does a quick dragon count and is like "we got this shit" then goes off on a solo adventure to train a dragon for him to use in the war that seems inevitable. While he's doing this, Rhaenyra, realizing she must connect with other houses to asses their loyalty, sends off her two sons on dragon back to act as messengers while demonstrating that they mean business and a slight flex in power.

Prince Lucerys hops on Arrax and flies to Storm's End to meet with Lord Baratheon but it's too late. Aemond is there and has already promised he'd marry so Lucerys is told to leave but Aemond, being the alpha male that he is, demands that Lucerys give him his eye in a literal "eye for an eye" moment. Lucerys declines and Lord Baratheon instructs them that there will be no bloodshed in his house.

Lucerys flies off on Arrax but the issue with Storm's End is that...well, it's storming. The weather is shit and makes for low visibility, I'm surprised the watch tower even permitted him to take off, honestly. He's attempting to navigate the weather to return home when BOOM, Aemond flies overhead in what just might be the most iconic shots in season 1 and his dragon Vhagar is a goddamn monster. It's as if it Boeing 747 got into a fight with a single-engine Cessna. Lucerys is fucked.

However, Arrax is small and has maneuverability and he uses that to his advantage to escape. Almost. Arrax goes full-on dragon and refuses to take his commands and singes off the hairs from Vhagar's face to which Vhagar goes full dragon and refuses to listen to any of Aemond's pleas to call this silly little chase off. Vhagar descends from above despite Aemond's protests and in one bite devours the young prince and his dragon. Aemond sits atop watching in shock all the while the dance of the dragons was sure to be witnessed by the people below. It's all fun and games until someone gets eaten.

In the final scene, we see Daemon walking up to Rhaenyra in her war room and leading her slightly away from everyone else to break the news of her son's murder at the hands of his cousin. The camera pans in and as Rhaenyra turns around, it's evident by the look on her face that any form of civility and/or ending this conflict without bloodshed is completely out of the window.

You want war, you fucking got it.

Wake me up when season 2 is out because I AM READY.

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