Updated: Nov 4, 2022
Alright. First things first, let's rip the bandaid off. No, I did not write on the last episode. I was stoned in a downtown Denver hotel and don't remember much of it aside from all hell breaking loose at Rhaenyra's wedding. Whatever.
Moving on! We have lots to discuss...
Rhaenyra is now grown! 10 years older, in fact. I feel as if I enjoy Milly Alcock's version of this character more but maybe I'm on my Leonardo DiCaprio shit, who knows. What I do know is, this show really has it out for violent birthing scenes, eh? Anyways, a prince is born! Well, a third prince to be exact. Rhaenyra been fuckin'.
The Queen (Alicent), well, it turns out I was right, she fucking sucks. Demands to see the baby immediately and to everyone's surprise, Viserys is still alive and looking more and more like the Cryptkeeper with every passing episode. Seriously, he looks like shit.
Skipping past the dragon training, we need to talk about Ser Criston. Has there ever been a character that we've collectively done a complete 180 on faster in the history of television? This dude is a BITCH. We see him kissing the Queen's ass, referring to Rhaenyra as a "spoiled cunt," then using sword training as a way to watch her kids get their asses kicked and more importantly, her lover to essentially confess to their affair.
And if that wasn't enough to take in, seconds later we are shown a now-teenager Aegon furiously masturbating outside of his window onto the peasants below. Perks of royalty, I suppose.
Oh, I forgot to mention, the man who all but confesses his affair with Rhaenyra, is Harwin of House Strong, the fucking Commander of the City Watch. And here's where I have an issue with this show:
We first see Harwin at Rhaenyra's in a VERY brief clip picking her up and quite literally whisking her away from the chaos at the wedding and in the next episode (again, 10 years later) he's her lover AND has three sons who are all princes AND is going to be burned to death?! What a fucking life cycle.
Spoiler alert? Whatever, the episode aired five days ago. If anything, I'm late.
Now, Rhaenyra is no dummy and knows shit is about to hit the fan and her (very intoxicated) husband is about to bail on her when she commands him to stay by her side. Meanwhile, Daemon is off living his best life and his wife sees him daydreaming about his niece and calls him out on it to which he replies with another epic one-liner when she mentions how he does not sleep:
"Well, how can I with you haunting my every move?"
Boom. Another Perfectly-timed Daemon mic drop.
Rhaenyra, in a panic, offers up a truce in the form of a marriage to the Queen aka her former bestie to unite the families, and Alicent stiff arms that idea and then takes a dinner meeting with Lord Larys who apparently does more than just hobble around the garden being a smart ass. Turns out, he's a cunning bastard and weaponizes the Queen's position of weakness to burn a handful of people alive she needs gone which forces an alliance.
Good thing Rhaenyra left for Dragonstone.
A quick note and something I mentioned above: this show has its moments that are enjoyable but gat DAMN does it move fast. Fuck a character development, they're introducing and killing off major chess pieces in a singular episode. And while I understand the need for and the direction in which they purposefully took to tell this story by essentially putting it through some Star Trek warp speed shit, it leaves the show severely lacking in depth and disallowing the viewer to grow any real attachment to its characters.
But I'll keep watching because, why not?! Just don't compare it to GOT. Even the GOT later years were better than this.
See y'all for episode seven!